Tuesday, May 15, 2007

I thank God that my Gurlz are safe and sound

Today in the news the top story was about a group of 4 girls who were walking and 'ran into' two men. The going statement is that they had words. A few minutes later, a silver Lexus runs them down. One girl died of her injuries. She was 17 years old.
Little Cotton Rabbits has a link on her blog to a missing 4 year old girl. She's beautiful and they can't find her. Scary stuff that.
Why so melancholy?
This morning I had no patience for my gurlz. The big one wouldn't listen and argued about everything. The little one screamed and kicked through two diaper changes (OK if I had waited it would have only been one). I was so angry and tired and unhappy and I took it out by yelling at my beautiful gurlz. I swore. I was mean. No mother of the year award for me.
It is not their fault they woke wide awake before 4:00 am in the morning. It's not their fault that my allergy drugs are so strong I can scarcely function and don't even know whether I am awake or asleep.
It's not their fault that the Dad's were not the perfect mate for me and I am raising them alone.
I need to stop and praise God that he has given me these two beautiful gurlz. I do, I just am so tired...
As my mother always says - If you are tired, go to bed. If you get up at 3:00 am, you have that extra hour or so.
So I am going to bed, and to sleep.
And God, please try to help me be a better Mum.


gurlygurl said...

You are a fantastic mom!! Never doubt that! You are doing an amazing job on your own. I sure would not be able to. Miss you!

Marti said...

Don't get down on yourself, it sounds like you're a wonderful mom. And while I'm not a mother myself, I suspect that every mother probably has many days when she feels just like you do. Hang in there!